On The Fresh Prince of America

You are in a room. There is a key on the bedside cabinet and the front door to the house is locked. Exits are north and west. What do you do?

> Poo

I do not know how to “Poo”.

> Wee

I do not know how to “Wee”.

> Bum

I do not know how to “Bum”.

There is a faint smell of smoke in the air.

> Willy

I do not know how to “Willy”.

> Boobies

I do not know how to “Boobies”.

> Go away

Where would you like to go?

The room is on fire.

> You smell of wee

I do not know how to “You”.

> I hate you

You are carrying:

Nothing.

You are suffocated by the smoke, and die a horrible death.

GAME OVER

Score: 0/258

Play again? (Y/N)

> Y

(c) Me, aged 7

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Will Smith is rumoured to be playing ‘Captain America’ in the upcoming Marvel Studios films featuring the character.

No, no, no, no, NO.

I don’t care about the fact that Will Smith is black and Captain America is white. I don’t even care that Will Smith isn’t exactly the tall, muscle-bound freak you’d expect from someone whose blood is pumping with Super Soldier Serum. But Captain America’s a man out of his time. He’s vulnerable yet stoic, he’s a natural born leader, and most of all, he’s an incredible prude.

And Will Smith?

‘Nuff said. This is actually almost certainly another groundless rumour (It seems to have originated on an MTV blog), but I want Hollywood to remember very hard what happened last time someone tried to inject political correctness into a popular franchise…

If you didn’t know that was coming, then you’re a bloody idiot you don’t know me very well.

~ by typeforty on September 8, 2008.