On Mr Bean for the Nintendo DS

Mr Bean
Nintendo DS
Out Now, £14.99

The words ‘licensed TV/movie tie-in’ on a video game box have, for a long time, been sufficient to strike icy fear into the heart of any seasoned gamer. Occasionally a tie-in game does come along which is both enjoyable and faithful to the source material; the recent Simpsons Game for the Nintendo DS was one such example, with genuinely fun gameplay and enough participation from the show’s production staff to make it a worthwhile purchase.

For every Simpsons Video Game, however, there’s a dozen ‘Bart Versus the Space Mutants’ lying in the wings, ready to steal the soul and money of many an unsuspecting gamer. Given this fact, I’m still somewhat unsure why I chose to spend some of my valuable time playing the new ‘Mr Bean’ tie-in for the DS. Perhaps it was the reassuring presence of Rowan Atkinson on the box that did it for me. Perhaps it was a reminder of a simpler time, when Blackadder stumbling around with a chicken on his head was as sophisticated as my sense of humour ever got. Or perhaps my masochistic streak is larger than I had feared.

Whatever the reason, I was still completely unprepared for the assault on my senses upon loading this game. Alarm bells began to ring when I realised that Rowan Atkinson had never been anywhere near this project. Instead, the game (And I use the term loosely) takes its inspiration from the ill-conceived 2002 cartoon series, which stripped the franchise of any remaining dignity or subtlety, and completed the character’s transformation from a stupid but almost charming individual into a mindless, disfigured husk with unnatural feelings towards his stuffed bear.

The game itself goes where so many tie-in games have gone before, and has the main character jumping from platform to platform, collecting items and avoiding obstacles, in order to reach the end of each level. Now, I’m a big fan of the platformer, from Super Mario Bros. and Sonic the Hedgehog right the way through to modern classics such as Viewtiful Joe and Ratchet and Clank. What ‘Mr Bean’ fails to consider, however, is the need for in-game progression.

A good platformer will show a steady increase in the difficulty level, while introducing different power-ups, enemies and level designs as the game progresses. Mr Bean, on the other hand, presents us with one infuriatingly simple level after another, rarely making an effort to change the gameplay, or indeed the enemies; guard dogs and little old ladies may have been a sensible presence during early levels set in Bean’s landlady’s garden, but make slightly less sense when encountered in a sewer or a factory.

If ‘Mr Bean’ had the smooth gameplay of a Mario or Sonic game, such a lack of imagination might almost be forgiveable. Unfortunately, Bean handles about as smoothly as his Mini, and stepping into enemies or obstacles poses no problem for the character, thanks to some lousy collision detection and a ridiculously forgiving energy bar, perhaps designed to frustrate the many gamers whose sole thought after ten minutes playing this game will be to have him kill himself in the most painful way imaginable.

Visually, the game is uglier than the bloated offspring of Britney Spears and John Merrick. Though I realise that the game probably didn’t have as high a budget as some of its shelf buddies, the game’s graphics look like they’ve been designed by a chimpanzee while the game’s staff sat around eating burgers and talking about porn. On several occasions I fell victim to barely noticeable gaps in the floor, which only become apparent once you’ve stepped through them, and the main character loses the charm of even the animated version.

In short, playing this game for an hour made me lose the will to live. There’s no plot, every new level is just as bad as the last in every possible respect, and the only challenge comes from the appalling graphics. Few games inspire me to quite this level of vitriol, but Mr Bean makes it onto the list with flying colours. Buyer beware.

1/10.

~ by typeforty on March 16, 2008.